A person asked me why we need to reach bottom before we get it. I responded by saying, “I don’t know; it’s not necessary.”
I doubt my answer was appreciated. We never do like to hear that we can stop our suffering at any time, that it is our choice to stay in the pain.
We don’t like to hear we cause our own pain and suffering. That’s not to say we should never feel pain. We should. Experiencing our own pain allows us to have empathy for others’ pain.
The problem is when we stay put, when we think we have to reach bottom before we can start climbing to the top. At any time, we can chose to change course. Easy? Not necessarily, especially when we’re not practiced at changing courses. We can lean though.
We can also often avoid pain, but we have to pay attention to our lives. Spirit/God/Creator/Energy/Universe always whispers before the shout and always shouts before the big bang. But so many wait for the big bank before listening or taking actions that will curb the suffering and bring us into joy.
I’ve noticed over and over that people who seem addicted to sadness will find a reason to be sad, even when their lives are filled with all that should make them happy. One man told me that when he looks at his life his pattern is one of the highs and lows, and when he’s high he knows it won’t last so he becomes sad knowing the happiness will fade.
I’ve also noticed that people who are sad are in such deep need that they go from person to person asking for the pain to be removed. Of course no one can remove our pain, no one except the one who carries it.
All we can do is border between supporting the person in their journey of healing and not cross over into trying to do it for them or letting them off the hook of doing their own work. It’s a tightrope walk to help someone in pain and addicted to sadness. Eventually they will become angry with us even for our support because we cannot rescue them and take away their pain.
Does this mean we should desert them? No, but they may desert us and look for the next person to fix them until they hit that bottom and that forces them to realize that the only person who can fix the pain is the one with the pain.
Only each of us can do the work that heals our patterns and changes our addictions, whether those addictions be to sadness, drama, harmful people, etc. Only we can do the work to change our addictions to those of happiness and joy. When we get this we will hear the whisper of Spirit/God/Creator/Energy/Universe long before the shout.