It takes energy to be unhappy. Unhappiness drains you. Imagine you are walking around every day carrying a fifty-pound bag on your back. This fifty-pound bag is filled with I’m-not-good-enoughs; They-are-not-goodenough-for-mes; Life-is-unfairs; I-could-do-that-buts; and a thousand other excuses of what life—or the other—has done to you to make you unhappy. How often have you said, “I will be happy if he . . . she. . . they, it. . .?” Or “I could be happy if only . . .”
Mother Teresa said, “It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing that matters.” So, if you insist on being unhappy at least put a lot of love into it. Of course, if you put a lot of love into it, you can’t possible stay in unhappiness. Love and unhappiness just don’t mix.
But sometimes you just can’t muster up enough love and trying to be happy just isn’t working. You are just plain stuck. When this happens, there are two things you need to know.
First you need to know how to get unstuck, which is what this process is all about. And secondly, you need to realize that every step you take toward happiness is one more step away from unhappiness. Think about this: Happiness is not a state that we reach and stay put the first time out. Instead, it’s a moving in and out, which means every time we move away from happiness, we need to return. And every time we return, it gets easier to do so.
We may feel that for every step we take toward happiness, we take two steps backward into unhappiness. When we do, we need to then take a step–or two—forward again into happiness. Sooner or later, you’ll notice that when you leave happiness, you catch yourself quicker than the last time, and you are able to move back into happiness both sooner and easier. You’ll move from spending years or months in unhappiness to weeks or days, and eventually only hours or quick minutes. Eventually those old grooves in your mind will be deeper on the happiness side than on the unhappiness side, which means eventually you’ll spend more time happy than unhappy.
This is a good day to be happy, but you may be feeling full of frustration, tired, or just feel happiness is too much work because life just isn’t going the way you want it to. You feel stuck. You need to scream, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. This isn’t any ordinary scream. This is a two-year-old child’s primal scream.
Put yourself in a place where you will not disturb others, or warn them of your plan so you neither scare them nor cause them to call 9-1-1 because they think you are in need of help. And then scream.
Begin with a scream that comes up from your toes, rushes through your whole body and returns back down through your toes to Mother Earth. This is a powerful, physical process. Make sure you monitor yourself while you are screaming. If you feel your blood pressure rising or your heart beating too fast, STOP! This is about releasing old tension, not about hurting yourself.
After screaming, thank Mother Earth for accepting and cleansing your tension. And then dance, just move about. Sing or put on music and dance to its beat. Primal music. Upbeat music. Dance. Become very childlike in your dance. Silly. Giggly. Feel the relaxation in your body. Feel the lightness. Let the music pour over and into you and let the giggles come all the way up from your toes to the very top of your head. Put giggles into every fiber of your being and every cell of your body. And then relax and go about your day’s business.
As you go through your day, become aware of every burden you recapture, and STOP YOURSELF from taking back any of the burdens you used to carry around. Smile and toss aside the She-did-this-to-mes or the What-a-jerk-he-iss or the She’s-in-the-wrongs. Replace all those burdens you used to carry around with the much lighter thoughts of Life feels-goods and the I’m-so-happy-to-be-mes, because I am happy, and I am helping