Sitting in the Irish Mist

Posted on December 5, 2023 by Diana Rankin

In the Western/American culture in which I live, we are impatient. We do not like being in the space between what was and what is to come, sitting in the Irish mist, I call it, because it reminds me of time spent in Ireland when I could not see around the next curve in the road or in my life; those time after something has ended and before the next begins.

We want it now and we want to know the whole picture, not just the beginning. But life is full of those spaces between here and there, and seldom are we shown the second step until we actually take the first one, which we are only shown after patiently spending time in quiet of the mist.

After talking with a friend about sitting in the Irish Mist, she sent me this poem:

 I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.
Don’t search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke Letters to a Young Poet

Rilke’s poem speaks elegantly to spending time in the Irish mist, moments of needed reflection that help us let go of that which was and grow into that which is to come.

Where I live in a rural woods, patience comes easier for me than it used to when I lived in the city. Perhaps it’s age as well that allows me to sit quietly and watch the morning mist rise from the farm fields on the other side of the trees, bare now from fall’s winds. Perhaps even, it’s a bit of wisdom that allows me to reflect on that which was, to heal and clear its wound or un-attach from its joy, so when the time is right, I can move into the next phase of my life, allowing the next creation to unfold in Divine time and not on my timetable.

If we are able to do this—allow our lives to unfold naturally rather than push them—that which comes is ready for us, as are we, created by our dreams and built by our patience.

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3 Practices to Create Prosperity

Posted on December 1, 2023 by Diana Rankin

These are practices I’ve used at different times in my life. Although I’ve not manifested $1 million, I have reached the point where I don’t worry about money.

There was a time when I’d wake up in the middle of the night worried about paying the bills. Interestingly, my income is less now than it was then since I’ve cut back on my workload. Yet, I always have everything I need. Money comes from different sources, my work (book sales, speaking engagements, clients, etc.), donations and gifts, and from unexpected sources (money found in an old purse or pocket gone through before giving them away, a scratch-off lottery game, etc.). What I need appears when I need it.

We must have the intention, ask, and trust. Then receive. I hope these practices work for you as they have for me. Let me know.

Practice 1

Back in 2005 to 2007, Steve Pavlina started an experiment, a $1,000,000 experiment (Million Dollar Experiment http://www.stevepavlina.com/million-dollar-experiment.htm). He wondered if it was possible to make $1 million through intention, guided by intuition and synchronicity. He decided to find out and invited others to join him.

Every day for 60 seconds participants were to sit quietly with this intention: In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend $1 million to come into my life.

According to the Million Dollar Experiment site, 1,730 people participated in the experiment publicly over the two-year time span. Participants reported manifesting a combined total of $1,247, 929.17 in extra money. You might want to give it a try. We’ll hold the energy for each other.

Practice 2

In a blank check register, pay yourself in “energy money” $200 the first day. You must spend all the money, so write down how much you are spending and where you are spending it. For example, you might designate 10 percent as a donation to a spiritual source; another 10 percent for a wealth-building account; or you might buy groceries, theatre thickets; or pay a bill, etc. 

The second day, you double the amount you pay yourself, so you’ll have $400 to spend. The third day you’ll have $800, and so on. As you go along, any money issues you have will start to come up. They sure did for me.

It was around the $8,000 mark when I told a friend I was getting bored with the experiment. He asked me what I was “buying” (remember this is all energy money; not “real” currency). I said that I was making donations, saving some, paying the mortgage, vet bills, electrical bill, etc., etc., etc. He was yawning by the time I finished.

“What are you buying that’s fun?” he asked.

I had to think about that for a few minutes. “I bought some books,” I said. I like to read.

“Buy a $200 bottle of wine,” he suggested.

I nearly choked. “I hardly ever drink,” I sputtered. “Plus, I can’t imagine spending $200 on a bottle of wine.”

“That’s the problem,” he said and smiled.

I got it. It wasn’t about buying a $200 bottle of wine. It was about having the consciousness of prosperity, and I didn’t have it. I wasn’t having any fun with money. Somewhere in my belief system, I had the idea that I had to work hard for money, and I wasn’t allowed to be frivolous. Ha!

Although I’m still not frivolous with money, I do have a better balance in my life of work and play. I’ve also had to learn to play games with myself around money to avoid getting bored. Although money may never be my strongest motivation in how I live my life, I have learned to respect it more and in turn respect myself more.

There’s a PS to this story. My friend took me to his Mercedes dealer to shop for a new car. No, I didn’t buy a Mercedes. That wasn’t the idea. The idea was to raise my money consciousness. So I didn’t buy a new Mercedes, but I did get a new Toyota.

Practice 3

Give and receive. You’ve heard me say it before that giving and receiving are like breathing in and breathing out. On the in breath, we receive; on the out breath, we give. We can’t have one without the other. When we give, we signal to the Universe that we have plenty to give because we know that we are always provided with all we need, and so we are.

Raising our money consciousness takes time, desire, intention, and practice. We may not be ready to win the $1 million lottery or to buy a new Mercedes. But we just might be ready to get that new Toyota or…

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Flight or Fright, A Life-Long Lesson

Posted on November 27, 2023 by Diana Rankin

Here’s a terrifying thought; imagine being strapped into a flight suit, tethered to a steel cable and lifted hundreds of feet into the air only to be dropped to the ground going 60 mph. Even more terrifying was that my nephew was nudging me to take this jump with him.

It was years ago on a family outing with my niece, Michelle, her husband, Michael, and their son. They were trying to cheer me up; I’d been having a rough time. My marriage was breaking up, and at the same time, my job was ending. I was struggling to get something going and every direction I turned seemed scarier than flying off a platform head first toward the ground at 60 mph.

We stood on the sidelines at the amusement park and watched the Xtreme Skyflyer crank upward and then with horrifying dizziness drop riders. “Xtreme” is right! It’s a skycoaster ride that sends riders soaring through the air like a pendulum on their way downward. Although I was younger then, I still was a woman of a certain age whose bones wouldn’t mend as quickly as my younger relatives, the ones who were coaxing me on. Yet, I admit that as frightening as it was, I also felt a tinge of exhilaration.

My family could see my fear, feel my hesitation. They coaxed me, supported me, even teased me, but didn’t push. I promised to think about it. After all I did brag on the drive to the amusement park that I would go on the skycoaster if conditions were right. Now, standing near the ride, I was looking for ways to back out. Whatever made me think I could do this?

“I’ll go if the sun comes out,” I said. To myself I thought fat chance that’s going to happen. The forecast was for thick clouds and so far the day had proven the meteorologist right. I felt pretty safe as we walked around the park, at least until the sun broke through the clouds and refused to leave. It was nearing the end of the day. I knew I didn’t have much time to make up my mind. Not making a decision was making a decision.

Michael stood next to me while we watched Michelle and their son on one of the calmer rides. “I’m scared too,” he said. “But I know if I don’t do this, I’ll always be sorry.” That’s all he said. No pushing me, no telling me I had to go on that skycoaster. Just a simple statement about himself that had everything to do with me.

I won’t say the fear subsided when I decided I too would be sorry if I didn’t walk—or is that fly—through this fear. I decided to do it, ride the Xtreme Skyflyer.

My fear increased to the point of near panic as the attendants hooked us up into our flight suits, as they called them. More like a blanket with straps. I caught a glimpse of my face in the ticket booth window. So that’s what sheer terror looks like! My eyes, frozen wide with fright, stared back at me. What in the world am I thinking? Can I back out now?

It was only determined stubbornness that kept me standing while being fitted into the flight suit. My knees buckled on the walk to the cable that would hook Michael and me together. Wires zipped and sizzled, then there was a snap, crack, and we were off, going up, up, up. Up. Up. My fear increased with every foot and my crossed arms burned with bruises as my fingers dug into flesh.

We jerked to a stop at the top. Someone had to pull the ripcord. Fortunately, it was on Michael’s side. “Ready?” he asked. I was still nodding okay when he pulled the ripcord. We were off!

Wind sailed across my face. I was flying, a bird soaring as high as the treetops. I saw the whole world. Weightless, fearless, adrenaline-charged, white-knuckle exciting! I was free. I screamed and laughed and kept right on laughing after we landed. I was still laughing on the ride home.

Riding the Xtreme Skyflyer was, of course, bigger than the ride or the hours that led up to getting on the skycoaster. I had stepped outside my comfort zone—way outside—and faced fear heart-on. I would—could—never go back.

I won’t say I’ve never felt fear since then. I have. But whenever fear creeps into my life and pushes me into a shell of safety, I hear Michael saying, “I’m scared too, but I know if I don’t do this, I’ll always be sorry.”

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Achieve Success Through Intuition

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Diana Rankin

This article is from my archives, and I think the information is worth repeating.

From the CEO to marketing to creative services to the shipping clerk, intuition is our best friend in the workplace. Over the years, I’ve presented ways to increase and work with intuition, or instinct if you prefer, to aid educators, police officers, medical personnel, and people in just about every walk of life you can name.

It all began back in 1984 when the Vice President and Director of the Creative Services and Marketing Department of a Fortune 500 company in Ohio and I went out on a limb together.

At the time, I had recently moved from liberal California to conservative Ohio. While talking to the director about freelance writing work, the subject of intuition and the importance of using intuition to find work you love came up.

The director asked me if I would consider putting together a breakfast seminar for his group on these very subjects. Although I had experience as a speaker, including substituting for my former boss at UCLA on occasion, my main work experience was as a writer, not as a speaker. Still, I listened to my intuition and said yes.

I knew my job was to inspire the director’s team, to offer them something they hadn’t heard before, or at least hadn’t heard the way I would present the information. They needed to be motivated, and I was the one hired to do that. 

Perhaps I was influenced by years of living in California, fostered by the director’s faith in me, but that limb we went out on came with the last line on the agenda. It read: “The ‘L’ Word.”

In today’s culture the “L word” might be easier recognized, but this was 1984 and most business people in a Fortune 500 conservative corporation in Ohio weren’t thinking of the “L word,” let alone speaking it out loud in front of coworkers.

I explained to the group that three letters followed the “L” and this word had a lot to do with their work as well as their personal lives, and that this “L” word was needed to use their intuition.

Throughout the morning, there was a lot of hemming and hawing, with a few guesses—luck, labs, lack, and so on—but no one came close…except one man, the vice president and director of the department. He sat there smiling while his staff kept guessing. Finally, I nodded and he gave the answer.

“Love,” he said. “To be good at your work, you have to love it, and if you don’t love what you’re doing, you don’t belong in this department.”

After a long moment of silence, I heard people starting to breathe again. 

“I love what I do,” he continued. “That’s why I’m so successful.”

Heads started nodding and everyone smiled. They got it.

Okay, you say, I get that love isn’t a dirty word in business anymore, but what does love have to do with intuition?

To be successful in one, you need the other. It’s the combination of love for what we do, coupled with intuition that takes us beyond knowledge and leads to our success, whether that success is leading a company, knowing what clerical backup is needed before it’s asked for, or moving out of harm’s way if a tower of boxes start to tumble.

Loving our work gives us the passion and motivation to put in the effort to learn and grow in the business of choice. There’s no substitute for knowledge and experience, but success comes with that extra step–intuition, aka, that “gut instinct.”

In the Harvard Business Review Modesto A. Maidique wrote:

“Gut,” replied Carnival CEO, Micky Arison, when I quizzed him, while interviewing him for a research project on CEO decision making, on how he arrived at the most important and fruitful decision of his career: the $5.45B acquisition of Princess Cruises. I must have seemed somewhat puzzled for Mr. Arison emphatically clarified, “I trust my gut.”

One of the most famous CEOs of all time, Steve Jobs, stated the importance of  intuition and love. He said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Everything else is secondary indeed. Without using your intuition, you may flounder, missing your dream. And the love, well, we all need love to survive and for our work in the world to have meaning.

Do you need a speaker for your group? Contact DianaRankin1111@gmail.com, or call 937-362-2117. To see more of my work, please go to www.DianaRankin.com and click on blog: to see my videos go to youtube.com/c/dianarankin1111

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Mom Wears Piper Out

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Diana Rankin

My mom wears me out. She goes from this room to that room. I have to follow her. That’s my job. I’m a doggy. It’s how we protect our humans. We stay close. Besides, Mom might have a treat in her hand. And what if she dropped it and I wasn’t there to get it! Gotta stay close.

Still, it wears me out. Mom just doesn’t sit still for long. Sometimes I’m still in the doorway when she turns around. She almost goes past me. But I’m fast. So, I turn around and stay by her.

Sometimes I’m asleep when she starts out. I have to wake up really fast so I can follow her. She might need my help. Or she might be going to my treat box. Or we might be going outside to play ball.

We don’t play ball at night. It’s different at night. That’s when we sleep for a bunch of hours. Mom stops moving from room to room. We stay all night in the same room. Mom calls it the bedroom. That’s because there’s a big bed in there.

My bed is right beside the big bed. That’s where Mom sleeps. On the big bed. She lets me sleep there too when I want to. We cuddle real close. I like that. She pets my head and face and tummy and back. It feels good. We sleep and sleep and sleep for a long, long time. All night.

I don’t think about treats when I’m sleeping with Mom. I don’t think about following her from room to room. Or trying to protect her. Or about playing ball. I don’t think very much. I just cuddle close to Mom.

I hope she knows I love her. I know she loves me. That feels good. To love and to feel loved. I like it.

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Are You Growing or Groaning to Happiness?

Posted on November 13, 2023 by Diana Rankin

The playwright George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Read this quotation again because you must get this before you will be happy. Although you will have plenty of help along the way, you—and only you—can make you happy. You must do the work to create what you want in your life, and sometimes the work can seem downright hard. It also can be lots of fun. Whether you experience the journey as growing into happiness or groaning into happiness depends on you. How you experience the journey starts with your attitude.

Now if you’re like I am, this is a hard idea to swallow, and certainly not the easiest way to begin your journey. But it is the most important way to begin. When I first started thinking that maybe my attitude was getting in my way, I had to take a long hard look at the person I had to look at the hardest—me. It was so much easier to blame my husband of years ago, or to talk about how that other person hurt me or made my life hard. It was while I was on a trip to Wales, hiking up a mountain, that I got it.

There I was hiking 3,560 feet up Mount Snowdon, my companion a man who asked me to love him, and then broke my heart. Every step for me was sheer torture and I made sure he knew it. “This is too hard. I don’t need to climb a mountain. I’m only here because of you. I don’t want to do this. Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla.” And then I saw her, a frail looking grayed haired woman slowly lifting and putting down a walker, taking a step, again lifting and putting down the walker, each time tiny tuffs of dust swirling around the rubber tips. She climbed to the top of the mountain that day, putting one foot in front of the other, step by step by step. Aided by her daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren, this lovely and brave lady was 79-years old. And she was smiling!

I got it! Just like that, I got it and suddenly my pack that had felt heavier than my broken heart was weightless. I was happy. In spite of a broken heart; in spite of being tired and weary; in spite of burning muscles and aching feet, I was happy, genuinely, deeply happy.

Regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in right now in this moment in time, you can experience happiness. You begin by taking responsibility for your life. And here is the crux. Most of us do not want to take responsibility for our lives. It is much easier to give up our power to someone else, let someone else dictate our life to us, and then blame them because we are unhappy.

We all know of someone who is happy in spite of tragic circumstances, and we all know someone who is unhappy in the best of circumstances. What do the happy people have in common? Attitude. What do the unhappy people have in common? Attitude. Being happy begins with a choice, a decision that you want to live the experience of happiness.

I was once asked why people seem to need to reach bottom before we get the importance of attitude in our lives. I responded by saying, “It’s not necessary to do so.” I doubt that the person who asked liked my answer; we never do like to hear that we can stop our suffering at any time; that it is our choice to stay in the suffering; that by shifting our attitude regardless of the circumstances of our lives, we can change our emotional state—we can move from unhappiness to happiness.

I’ve noticed over and over that people who seem addicted to sadness will find a reason to be sad, even when their lives are filled with all that should make them happy. One man told me that he looks at his life as a pattern of highs and lows, and when he’s high he knows it won’t last so he becomes sad knowing the happiness will fade.

I’ve also noticed that people who are sad are in deep need and sorrow. They go from person to person asking for the pain to be removed. Of course, no one can remove that pain, NO ONE, except the person who carries it. All anyone outside of you can do is border between supporting you in your journey of healing and not cross over into doing it for you or letting you off the hook of doing your own work. It’s a tightrope walk to help someone in pain and addicted to sadness. Eventually unhappiness addicts become angry with the healer because no one can rescue another. We each must walk through our own trials and tribulations and elations and ecstasies, and life is filled with all of these. How we perceive each—our attitude—will help us move through the tough times with grace and wit or with deep sorrow and unhappiness.

If we can look beyond the surface of the circumstances, we are able to see the deeper reality. For example, perhaps we are being asked by Spirit to rewrite an old pattern that no longer serves our lives. Let’s say it’s a pattern of broken relationships and we’re being asked to make wiser choices. To get your attention, Spirit may offer you a relationship that is going to leave you with a heart that feels like the other stabbed you a thousand times, stomped on your heart and yanked it out of your chest and threw it on the dung heap, and then tossed a ton of manure on top. I’d call this the Big Bang of heartbreaks, but before this big bang there was a whisper or a shout. Perhaps you even saw all the red flags, but decided to ignore then until you no longer had a choice, and now all you can do is allow your heart to be broken open and pray for greater wisdom in relationships. Spirit always whispers before the shout and always shouts before the big bang, but so many of us wait for the big bang before listening or taking actions that will bring us joy, because we are addicted to the drama that accompanies unhappiness. Only each of us can do the work that heals our patterns and changes our addictions of heartbreak and longing to patterns of happiness and joy. When we get this, we will hear Spirit’s whispers long before the shout.

Still, most of us will experience a few big bangs and a lot of shouts in our lifetimes. Life, by its very nature, throws us loops and it’s up to us to decide whether to ride the loops and yell woohoo or fall off the loops and smack against the cement that’s always waiting. The difference is in our attitude, and the easiest way to have an attitude of riding the loops is by setting an intention for happiness.

Every morning set the intention that you want to experience happiness. Put it in writing. You might write: “Today my intention is to be happy.”  Throughout the day, continue to remind yourself of your intention. When something upsets you, remind yourself of your intention. When you get caught in the mundane, remind yourself of your intention. When you think someone else is making you feel this way or that way, remind yourself of your intention: “Today my intention is to be happy.”

During this day, you will have plenty of opportunity to experience a wide range of emotion, including everything unlike happiness. Keep returning to your intention and you will have plenty of opportunity to experience happiness. The choice is yours.

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It’s Mom’s Birthday!

Posted on November 13, 2023 by Diana Rankin

My Mom had a birthday. It was on a Saturday, November 11. I know because she told me. Mom turned older, maybe even older than me. But I’m still wiser. That’s ‘cause I’m a doggy and she’s a human. Doggies are wiser than humans.

We celebrated all weekend. It was fun. I took Mom out into the meadow and played ball with her. I did my very best to always catch the ball every time she threw it. And I ate every treat she gave me. I’m a good girl.

And we went for a ride in the car. It was a really long ride. It was fun. I like car rides.

Mom went away at night. I wasn’t allowed to go with her. She said it was inside a restaurant for humans only. I didn’t understand that. Who ever heard of a place where doggies aren’t allowed. Mom was with many of my aunties and uncles. I love them. I should have been with them. But okay, I’ll forgive Mom since it was her birthday.

We went for another long car ride. The sun was really bight. It felt good. At the end of the car ride we walked and walked. I got to play in the leaves. Everyone kept saying how pretty I am. I am.

Then we went for another car ride. This time we came all the way back home. I was tired but I played ball with Mom anyway. I know how much she likes to watch me run and catch the ball.

That night we watched the sun go down. Mom held me and petted me and told me what a good girl I am. She said I’m really a special doggy and I made her birthday extra special. I did! And I’m so glad I did. ‘Cause moms are extra special too.

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Countering Negative Self-Talk

Posted on November 9, 2023 by Diana Rankin

People think of me as a positive, optimistic person, but it wasn’t always so. It’s been a long and often difficult road to this inner joy that I now am grateful to experience.

There was a time, however, when I felt I was at the bottom of a deep well where the light was so far away I couldn’t see it. There wasn’t anyone walking past the well, so it wouldn’t do any good to even put my hand up and scream for help, yet scream I did, at myself until I finally got my attention. It was then I started listening to myself, started listening to my inner talk, that self-talk that either destroys or creates.

Here’s what I heard” You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not successful enough. You haven’t done enough. You’re not enough, etc., etc., etc. You’ve heard it all before. Unfortunately, most of you are saying some of the same things to yourself, and it’s time to stop. Yes, easier said than done, but we have to start somewhere, right? So, let’s get going, together, today, right now.  This very minute.

Let’s make the promise – come on now each of us – to listen a little more carefully to our inner voice so we can tame that inner bully and turn it into a voice of loving kindness toward ourselves.

This isn’t a one day activity that once we make the commitment all our self-talk will be loving, encouraging us to be the truth of who we are. This is a lifelong commitment to be our best and live our best life. It may not always be easy listening to ourselves, but it is well worth the effort. Even when that self-bully slips back into our thoughts, it’s worth the effort to ask it to leave.

On the other side of negative self-talk is joy and the creation of the life we want. We will have the life we want because we will self-talk ourselves into knowing we deserve it . . . and we do!

Come on now, who’s with me?

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When Piper Misbehaves

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Diana Rankin

Most of the time I’m a really good girl. Honest I am. But sometimes I’m a brat. Mom doesn’t say that, but I know she’s thinking it.

I’m a brat when we get into the car, and I bark and bark and bark. I keep telling Mom I’m supposed to ride in the front seat. She thinks I’m supposed to ride in the back. She even tethers me to the back seat. The nerve. Ok, ok, she says it’s safer. I still don’t like it. And I tell her so.

I like to carry my own leash. I’m allowed to do that when we’re walking back up the lane after getting the mail. But I don’t have to wear my leash when we walk down the lane to get the mail. Mom puts my leash on me before we cross the road to the mailbox. But she won’t let me carry it. I tell her I’m supposed to carry my leash, but she won’t let me have it until we cross the road again to go up the land to the house. I tell Mom this is very confusing. Just let me have my leash when I want it.

I can be bratty when we come back inside the house. I know where the treat box is. I run to it faster then Mom can close the door. And I bark and bark, “Treats Mom! Treats!”

I like food. And sometimes Mom is really slow getting my breakfast ready. So, I have to tell her over and over to hurry. I’m hungry!

I’m a brat when I want to play ball and Mom is tired. I bark and bark at her until she plays with me. Sometimes I just look at her with really sad eyes. That works too. It works to get treats too. The sad eyes. Not the barks.

I get treats for being a good girl. That’s a good reason to be a good girl. Guess it’s a good reason to not be a brat. Hum, maybe I should always be a good girl.

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7 Ways to Heal Pain that Binds Us

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Diana Rankin

Our lives should be filled with joy, right? It’s our spiritual heritage, right?  So why then is there so much pain and suffering in the world? And what, if anything, can we do about it? Are we just supposed to suffer, or can we heal our own pain and that of others? If so, how? Is there a purpose to pain? Why does it feel so deep?

Certainly, we do not have all the answers, but perhaps one of the suggestions following will give you answers without negating the pain and suffering of grief and loss, of lack or illness, or the heartbreak of every evening’s news headlines.

Never do we want to stuff pain, thinking it will go away if we refuse to acknowledge it. When we refuse to deal with our pain in a healthy way, it only hurts us more. When we close our hearts to allow the pain to pass through, we also close our hearts to love and joy.

Neither do we want to negate our pain or that of others. Pain is part of the human experience that none of us are immune to. What we do need though are ways to deal with our pain when it seems to overwhelm us. These following seven suggestions are to help you work through pain, grief, anxiety, anger, depression, fear – any suffering that takes you away from love and the joy of life.

Breathe:  Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us to use the breath to relax by thinking “relax” when we breathe in and “let go” when we breathe out. We can modify this by thinking, “I breathe in “love,” I breathe out depression/anger/grief/anxiety/fear and so on. Soon our consciousness mind relaxes, and we hear ourselves saying, “I breathe in love, and I breathe out love.” Then we just relax and thinking ceases.

Guided Meditations:  Keep a favorite guided meditation near, so when you feel overwhelmed, you can relax into its calmness. There are several on the market or YouTube, including mine. Below are the links to a couple of my meditations on YouTube.

Journaling: Begin with writing down why you are in pain. Go ahead and blame everyone you want, including yourself, and then move past the blame and start mining the gifts, which are often hidden in the lessons we must learn in life. Write about why you are in this situation and what it brings to your life. Write about what pattern, if any, is at play here and what you need to do to change the pattern. Write until you have reached a place of calm understanding. Write about your hurt until you go beyond the pain and reach a place of gratitude for that which caused you pain.

Call a friend: Especially when we are experiencing grief, we must have a support group to which we can turn during those awful times of our deepest grieving. We don’t need a friend to fix it. Grief cannot be fixed. We do need a friend to just be there, because the human heart, when broken, must be tenderly held in love until we can mend it back together.

Prayer: The words spoken silently or aloud are never as important as the emotion of the prayer. We may simply say, “help.” That is enough. Once you say a prayer, become the high witness and watch yourself as you go through the experience. Keep in mind that you are the one having the experience; you are not the experience.  If you are the one having the experience (and not the experience itself), you can at any time choose a different experience.

A prayer of forgiveness is essential in easing your pain, and please start with yourself, then move out to any others who may have caused you pain.

Sob: Sometimes we need to just let the tears flow without reservation until we are spent. Rest and sleep are helpful at this point.

Primal scream: This scream is one long from the toes up to the top of the head and beyond scream that shakes and shatters every cell of our body. It begins from the deepest pain in our heart and moves in and through our entire being until we are spent. This releases the pain from our bodies, which begins the healing process. Laughter or tears of release often follow this scream.

This scream should not be done by people with high blood pressure or other medical conditions. You should never, ever scream until you feel dizzy or faint. That is not the purpose of the primal scream. Do not practice primal screams in the near proximately of people unless you first let them know what you are doing. This scream is so powerful that you will scare others into thinking you are in danger.

Your pain may not leave immediately, or it may leave temporarily and return. The greater the pain, the more you need to be patient with yourself and with your healing. Be kind to yourself during your healing process and remember to breathe until the pain eases.

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