Much unhappiness is caused by stress or idleness. Put the two together and you have a pit that digs into a depression. Stress comes from more on your plate than you can pray over. Idleness comes from nothing on you plate that you enjoy. How do you put on your plate the right amount of that which pleases you?
First, you must accept that if you are unhappy, you are going to cause unhappiness for those around you—your family, you co-workers, the clerk at the grocery store. Okay, you say, if other people are not responsible for my unhappiness, only I am, why am I responsible for their unhappiness? You are not responsible for their unhappiness, but you are responsible for the energy field you create.
You may not be aware of the energy field you are creating, just as you may not be aware of the energy field those around you are creating. But think about it for a moment. When you are around someone who is always down, you have to work a little harder to stay up. The same works in reverse. Those around you are aware of your energy field, even though they may not be aware they are aware. Got it?
You need to take care of your happiness so you can then take care of those for whom you are responsible, and each of us have a responsibility to ourselves, to our families, to our co-workers, and to all humanity in our world. Sometimes this is difficult.
Okay. It is what it is. Which is easier— moaning and groaning about what is wrong with life, ignoring what is going on in your life, or laughing about what is? When you moan and groan, you lose the flow, and everything on your plate turns into a big, ugly, gooey, mess that you have to digest. When you ignore what is going on, it builds and overflows but doesn’t go away. When you laugh and accept and go with the flow, everything seems to get done and you have fun doing it.
Now I know this isn’t always easy, especially when the task is something that we do not enjoy or something that is difficult for us. But try the following process and see if that doesn’t help. You just might surprise yourself.
Take a look at your plate, at what you are digesting and at what is missing. Begin with the intention each day that you want to accomplish and to be happy doing so. As human beings, we need a sense of fulfillment that comes from ending the day with a sense of a day well lived, a day we added to our lives and the world.
The writer Isak Dinesen said, “When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.”
She is right. My mother used to tell me the same thing, so this process comes with a thanks to these two amazing women.
Make two lists of goals for this coming week. The first list is what you have to accomplish. Title this list, “What I Have to Accomplish this Week.” Include what you need to accomplish at work as well as at home. Then take a look at that list and remove anything that is not absolutely necessary.
Then add two things that you really want to do, something that would make you feel good to get done, such as cleaning out that closet or a section of the garage you’ve been wanting to get at and will give you a sense of moving ahead, and something that is just for you, such as spending thirty minutes every evening reading a novel, something that will give you a time of relaxation.
Now make a second list. On this list you can add the things you removed from your first list if you like but be sure to stay true to the flavor of this list. Title it, “Things I Want to Do this Week if I Have the Time and Energy.” This list is pretty self-explanatory. Do make sure you add fun things to this list that you may or may not choose to do—go to a movie, have lunch with a friend, and so on.
Do include “if I Have Time and Energy” in the title for this list. Sometimes we want to do things, but time gets away from us or we don’t have the energy. You can push yourself a little, but also give yourself an out without guilt.
Return to your first list (What I Have to Accomplish This Week) and break it down into goals, and then break those goals down into daily steps that help you accomplish each goal. For example, suppose you have 10 boxes that need unpacking. They’ve been sitting in the attic for far too long.
Even one box seems like too much to get started on, so you just keep ignoring them, which causes stress. This week, choose one-half a box to unpack as a goal. One day, you bring the box into a room where it won’t be in the way but within your daily sight.
Next open the box and unpack two items. Only two items. Once you find a place for those two items, unpack two more, and so on. Do this with glee, excitement, and a sense of exploration and the job will be more fun than if you face it with dread. You might even decide to unpack the whole box this week instead of only unpacking half and leaving the other half for next week.
Facing taxes, a pile of paperwork, bills? Spend three days sitting with them and blessing them. On the fourth day, being working on them, but only after you say a blessing. Chances are you’ll be ready to get started before that fourth day. Spend short bursts of time, about 15-to 30-minutes, working on a project unless you are in the flow and want to spend more time. Don’t make it a grind. It’s better to return to it later in a state of excitement rather than force yourself to push through and make yourself miserable. However, if you can push through and are happy about it, go for it.
When you find you have too much time on your hands, it’s Spirit’s way of telling you that someone else needs your help. Find out who. Perhaps it’s a neighbor who is lonely and just needs someone to talk with. Perhaps it’s the local book club who needs your wisdom. Perhaps it’s an animal at the local shelter who needs your loving hands. Perhaps it’s someone who is hungry at the local food shelter.
When people ask me how I manage to stay in a place of happiness most of the time, my answer is always the same, “I don’t have time to be depressed.” I deeply believe that since we have to be on this earth anyway, we might as well enjoy ourselves. The opposite just isn’t any fun.
Happiness comes from a sense of being worthy, of being needed, of filling our plate without overfilling it, of accomplishing, and of time for ourselves just to curl up with ourselves and say, “This was a good day. Thank you for this life I live.”
