Be Wise, Choose Good

Six thousand years before Jesus was born Zoroaster lived.

Spokesman for the Parsi God Ahura-Mazda, Zoroaster taught the Parsi priest and people that there is both good and evil in the world, and that it is the responsibility of every person to choose good for the sake of the world.

Zoroaster said that the warfare between right and wrong in our hearts is also the world struggle, and it is the struggle in the unseen world as well. Hosts of demons are continually contending against angelic hosts.

The Parsi believed that when they became 15, they take one of the angels for protection, one of the wise as a personal sage, and one of the high priests as a personal high priest. This will help the person follow the Parsi law, which says, “If you follow that which is good, good is your reward; if you follow evil, you will be rewarded with evil.

“So you must continually pray for wisdom and seek, by every possible means, to determine what is evil and what is good.”

We all must choose that which is good.

It is often said the Magi attending the birth of Jesus were Parsi, wise men who were followers of Zoroaster and teachers who illuminated the path for Jesus.

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Connecting with Sprit World

What’s it like to connect with Spirit World, to see and communicate with people who have crossed over? Mystics and psychics know. Anyone who has had a near death experience knows. Everyone who has had a visit from a loved one knows. I know.

As a child barely old enough to walk, my grandfather held my hand and talked to me, while his body lay in the nearby casket. As I grew older my two best friends were twins, a sister and brother, who were not of this world. Although no one else could see them, they were quite real to me.

These experiences are fairly common in early childhood. By the time we reach school age, most of us have left behind their “imaginary” friends and guardian angels who walk with us.

Sadly, the world often demands this of us, to leave behind those in Spirit World as we move into teenage years and then adulthood. I tried. I even thought I had succeeded.

It wasn’t until I was well into adulthood that I realized I really hadn’t left behind my spirit friends after all. They were there all the time just waiting for me to allow them their voice. The twins were gone; they were still youngsters in Spirit World, of less assistance to my adult life. Still, I felt their laughter as I began working with Phillip, my main spirit guide, the communicator.

We have multiple spirits around us, each having a different purpose. Some are with us our whole human life while others move in and out of our life as needed. Once I was comfortable working with Phillip, I began meeting others who work with me. They came to me as I needed to know them and when I was open to learning about them. For example, Isadora the healer worked with me as I healed from a motorcycle spill. Michael the protector showed up anytime I felt fear when confronted with an uncomfortable situation.

I also learned to communicate with people and animals I loved who had crossed over. It began in grief when I asked my friend Anne who had died to give me a sign. As I did, I felt a lifting of my grief, a smile came, and I felt lighter. Time had no meaning as I felt her laughter within me. And I knew, just knew Anne was communicating with me, letting me know she was okay.

After my mother’s death, I was still in a state of shock from the car accident that took her life when I asked her for a sign to let me know she was okay. I walked around the corner from one room to another. As I looked ahead toward the wall into the next room, I felt a breeze flow through me. It was then I noticed the painting on the wall moving, tilting. I moved closer to straighten the painting when I felt a presence. It was then I knew that it was Anne titling the painting. After all, she was the painter.

“Thank you, Anne,” I said quietly. “Thank you for letting me know Mother’s okay, that you and others are with her, helping her make her transition.

Over the years, I’ve received many a communication from Mother and Anne, and other loved ones who are in Spirit World including people I’ve never met. My meaningful messages from those I love pushed me into helping others who needed contact with their loved ones who have passed over.

Doing so came easy for me, to receive messages and pass them along to clients who ask for such messages. I don’t always see the loved one in Spirit World, and yet I feel them in such a way I know what they look like, and what their personalities were like when they lived in the third dimension.

Almost always, they will show me what they are doing. Some are in school; some have jobs; some are enjoying leisure, some are still transitioning, and unfortunately some are not aware they are in Spirit World.

Moving into this world of spirit even helped me with one of my books, The Found Child. In the story, Phillip takes Diana, the main character, through different dimensions of Spirit World. When I was writing this book I felt the same I do when doing a reading with a client who requests a message from a loved one in Spirit World.

I am alert and wide awake while at the same time experiencing the energy I liken to a deep meditation. I’m in more than one dimension, fully aware of this parallel world while also being fully present in this third dimensional world. And it all feels normal to me.

Over the years Phillip has become my guide, my teacher, and in many ways my best friend. An old Druid, he was my teacher many lifetimes ago. He stands over my left shoulder when I’m with a client, standing in front of an audience, when I’m writing, and even when I’m watching the brilliance of the sunset or walking in nature.

“Look Phillip. Do you see that hawk flying overhead?” I ask. It is then I feel his energy move over me, and I smile. My heart is warmed.

Moving into Spirit World can be dangerous for some. I’ve been blessed to have Phillip and others to hold me as I say my prayer of protection that only love may come to me. I’m blessed to so easily communicate with those in Spirit World, to have teachers to help me grow, protectors to keep me safe, and of course, to have Phillip, the one who guides me and helps me guide others.  

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The Bewitching Magical Mystical Moon

Can anyone sleep on a night such as tonight with a moon so big and melting into the darkness of the night and the jubilation of the fairy folk resounding through the forest.

The cats are purring in their sleep and the dogs are singing with the coyotes. The very breath of the wind shimmers with a gossamer trail that streaks through the night.

Sleep is not possible on such a mystical night. Who would want to sleep and miss all this?

There is magic in the air. I feel it in my breath. Something very special is taking place all around the universe. God is smiling. I feel the joy of this magic, this moment in time when the angels too are smiling.

It reminds me of when I walked out of the Great Pyramid of Giza or sat atop a butte in Sedona or sailed the Pacific Ocean or stood in the center of the labyrinth at midnight. The heavens are alive with the moon’s glow, and I know I am connected to millions of years of ancestors before time was time and the moon sat alone in the sky without humans to observe. I felt before as I feel now. The connection goes beyond me to the future as well.

The great moon is white and as bright as can be. I whisper my prayer and am joined by a thousand others who see the brilliance. I am fortified and I know I am never, never alone. This pleases me and makes my heart glad.

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Every Day Choose Happiness

We all want to feel we are fully alive and adding to the world’s joy. We want to believe we are helping others and not draining the world. But our unhappiness does drain the world.

We all have sadness, grief, tragedy, times to go through that are difficult. That is life. Many of us come from dysfunctional families, some worse than others, but we all have our wounds and scares. We all have times when getting out of bed in the morning is hard, or when calling someone to get together seems like more trouble than it’s worth. We all have times of depression. We all have times when we must have a talking with ourselves and pick ourselves up and get back into life.

If you are beyond being able to pick yourself up, please reach out for help from a professional therapist. If you are unable—or unwilling—to do the work to be happy, you have stayed in depression too long. Please reach out for help.

For the rest of us who are being a bit lazy about creating happiness, now is the time to take responsibility for your life. Happiness is not something that just happens until we’re open to receive it. It may take work to get to that point. The more often we are happy and the longer we are happy, the it easier it becomes to be happy.

Our thoughts and emotions create grooves in our brain. Like water that runs to the nearest groove in the earth, our thoughts and emotions flows to the grooves we’ve created. The more we create happiness, the more grooves of happiness we have, so the easier it is to move into happiness.

Sometimes we have to create games to play on ourselves. For example, you might tell yourself you do not have time to be depressed right now, but you can be depressed Friday at four o’clock. Or you can constantly remind yourself that in any situation you are in you have three choices: you can accept it, leave it, or change it.

We have to find pleasure in the small things in life that are free such as the sunset, the beauty of an autumn leaf pile, or the colors in a soap bubble. Every day we must remind ourselves over and over that our intention is to be happy. We have to keep an attitude to face every situation in life as a way of growing, not as an obstacle. 

Happiness is not always easy to obtain, but the more you allow happiness into your life, the more it becomes a way of life and the easier it is to obtain. The more you experience happiness, the more it comes to you. One day you’ll wake up and say, I’m really happy and have been for a while. In fact, I don’t remember being unhappy it’s been so long. Yippee!

This is the day to make a choice. The choice is yours and only yours. Choose happiness.

You deserve it.

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12 Ways to Transition from Fear to Love

If we remember all emotion is either fear-based or love-based, it’s easier to move from the fear emotions to love emotions.

We all experience fear, anger, upset, anxiety, stress, sadness, jealousy, and so on. Fear-based emotions lead to our feeling disconnected from others, even from our own lives. Fear-based emotions are rooted in our sense of survival instincts. They trigger our fight-or-flight response.

These fear-based emotions are natural. They help us process information, may even keep us safe. So, it’s not about never feeling any fear-based emotions. It’s about recognizing what we are feeling, taking any necessary action, and then working through those feelings. When we stop being overwhelmed by fear emotions, we are able to experience love and joy.

Love-based emotions, such as joy, compassion, empathy, gratitude, and so on, arise from a sense of safety, connection, and well-being. We need to cultivate these emotions so we can move into them whenever we choose.

It’s helpful if we know what triggers our fear-based emotions. Journaling, talking with someone, meditation, are a few ways we can learn about those triggers so we can recognize the fear-based emotions when they arise.

Once we 1.) recognize the feeling; 2.) take action if needed to be safe; 3.) work through the feelings; 4.) we are ready to make the conscious decision to change a fear-based emotion into one that is more positive and loving. This does not necessarily happen overnight. It takes patience and practice.

Following are 12 ways that you can use to change a fear-based emotion to a love-based emotion.

  1. Music can change our moods rapidly. Be aware what you’re listening to. For example, if you’re driving in heavy traffic and stressed because you’re running late, try listening to classical or easy listening music or songs you like that you can sing/hum along with.
  2. If you’re in public and the crowds are getting to you, smile at strangers. They may or may not smile back. This works even in cities where people normally ignore one another. Even if no one smiles back, you’re changing your emotional energies as you smile. This works even if you’re alone.
  3. Imagine you’re in a favorite spot such as relaxing on a beach, hiking in the mountains, curled up on your couch with a dog or cat, looking into a loved child’s eyes, etc. If one imagined scene doesn’t work, try to imagine something else. Our imaginal minds can do wonders for our moods.
  4. Ask for a hug. Studies show our health benefits from hugging including reducing fear, stress, and pain. Hugs also support immune and cardiovascular health. No one around to hug you? Use a small blanket, wrap it around you, close your eyes, and feel the hug. Using the imaginal mind helps here too as you can imagine that blanket is someone you feel loved by.
  5. Ask someone to listen, really listen. We all need to be heard to vent or express our fears, our sadnesses, our angers. A kvetch buddy is helpful as long as you agree to listen to one another. For friendships/relationships to be healthy and last, there needs to be equal give and take. It may not always be at the same time; it does have to equal out.
  6. Post positive words and pictures where you can see them. You might add a short note to your pocket or purse; post a note on the bathroom mirror, etc.
  7. Buy several cards or postcards that make you feel good. Mail one to yourself each week. The art of sending someone a card has gone by the wayside, replaced by electronic messages. Receiving a card lifts the spirit in a way electronic messages don’t. When you’re caught in a fear-based emotion, write a note to yourself on one of the cards, put a stamp on it, and then mail it. Do this even if you’ve already mailed your weekly card. The expectation of knowing the card is coming to you will pick up your spirits.
  8. Slow down and breath. Fear-based emotions often overtake us when we’re head-over-heels busy. We actually accomplish less when we’re overwhelmed. So, take a deep breath in through the nose, hold it, now release it through the mouth. Do this again until you feel your shoulders relax and your emotions move from stress to calm. If you’re angry at someone, simply say bless you on the breath in and bless me on the breath out. This will help to change the energy between you.
  9. Practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when in difficult times or when you just can’t get past the fear-based emotion. Acknowledge the struggles and stop judging yourself.
  10. Shift your focus to gratitude. For example, when you feel anger at a situation, stop, take a breath, and think about the gifts in the situation. You might find that all that impatience while waiting in the grocery store line kept you from being involved in a vehicle accident.
  11. Challenge the fear-based emotion. Question the validity of the emotion. Ask yourself questions such as: Do I want to feel this way? Does feeling this way make my life better? What is another way I could feel about this person or situation?
  12. Move, dance, exercise. Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.

Transitioning from fear-based emotions to love-based emotions is a journey that requires patience, practice, and self-awareness. It’s a journey that leads to a more loving, calmer, peaceful, and happier life. It’s a journey well worth the effort.

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Do the Right Thing

Happiness is in doing the right thing. This may not always be what we want to do, but it is what we need to do simply because it is the right thing to do. Often the right thing causes us to divert our plans, may cost money we don’t feel we have to spare, or might even cause sadness or grief, but all this is temporary. The deeper, more lasting happiness comes from feeling good about yourself because you did the right thing when the task to do so is presented to you.

We all want to do great things in the world. Yet we are always asked to do the smallest of acts before we are given the bigger tasks. It is in the day-to-day kindness to our neighbor that we grow into creating a Neighbor-to-Neighbor Give-and-Take Center where neighbors leave food, children’s toys, and money for other neighbors to take as needed. It is in the caring for our own children in a loving way that we grow into starting an international fund for orphans in Africa. It is in the loving touch we give our own animals that allows us to pick up a lost and lonely, sick and hungry kitten off the side of the road and heal him for his forever family or send him humanely into Spirit World. It is our commitment to our inner peace that pushes us to create an international peace program that helps to heal the wounds of the world. It is in the feeding of ourselves that we come to realize the need to feed the world and begin an international food relief organization. It is in the caring for our homes that we understand the need to care for our planet and we organize a neighborhood clean-up day.

Every day I hear a story where someone’s heart was enriched by following the rule of do the right thing. Often these stories are remembered and told years after the event. One grandmother told me a story of when her children were young, a story of a kitten they found who was injured. “Money was tight in those days,” she said, “but the children were with me when the vet said we could either put the kitten back in the cornfield, put her to sleep, or pay for surgery.” Bet you already know what that mother said. “Of course, we had to have the surgery. My children were standing there. It was the right thing to do.” The mother went on to tell me that the kitten lived to the ripe old age of 20, and then she added, “She was the best cat we ever had. It was like she spent her life thanking us.”

Moliere said, “It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.” Let go of all the times you did not do the right thing and begin today. This is the day we are going to hold ourselves responsible and do the right thing, whatever that thing is that presents itself to you today.

Right now, in this very moment, make a commitment to do the right thing. That’s all. Just make the commitment. Commit to being the best you and to be able to use your own specific way to serve others in the world. Let your prayer be, “Show me how I can help.” And then listen. You will be presented with a thousand ways to do what is right. Your tasks may seem small but let go of that judgment. There is no small kindness.

From your one act grows many ripples. You may be asked to do something you think is greater than you are able to take on. The greater act may be asking you to step into a new role, one that seems bigger than you can handle, but you will not have to handle it all yourself. You just have to step forward into that space you are being asked to occupy. 

Whatever the task—whether great or small—we never do alone. We take it on, guide it, and see it forward. What you are asked may not be easy; it seldom is, but it will bring you the greatest reward of being human—it will bring you happiness, a deep abiding joy that lasts long after the task is complete. And after all, isn’t that what you really want— to be happy.

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What Do You Want?

To be happy, you must accept yourself for who you are. The trick is you have to first know who you are. Mahatma Gandhi, the great leader, said, “Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear.” As you “remove the cobwebs of ignorance” around who you are and begin to see the truth of who you are, you will know happiness. But getting to know the truth of who you are is not always easy. 

To know who you are requires that you stand in your own power. One way we give away our power to someone else is by asking the other to make our decisions. When we do this, we never have the opportunity to know what decisions we might make or what the outcome of those decisions might be. How can you ever learn to believe in and to trust yourself if you have no practice in making your own decisions? But here’s the catch.

To make a decision, you have to know what you want. A friend once told me that the difference between middle managers and high-level executives is the ability to make a decision rather than the quantity or quality of the decisions. Middle managers mull over decisions, trying to find the perfect answer; they become married to their decisions. High-level executives bring together the best of their knowledge and experience and make a decision. If it doesn’t work out, they make a different decision. What this all comes down to is trusting yourself and having the confidence that the decisions you make are good enough.

In a few paragraphs there is a process to reach happiness, but it will be difficult if you are a people pleaser, a person who never wants to make waves and will go out of their way to accommodate the other(s). People pleasers want to be liked and believe if they accommodate they will be. Unfortunately, the opposite usually happens. People tend to respect us more if we are able to express our desires honestly. 

People who do not know what they want, or who always defer to others, put a terrible burden on the one who does have to make all the decisions. Happiness comes as we mature into the truth of who we are, which comes from knowing what we want and speaking our truth with grace. This does not mean we should never compromise. Certainly we should, but remember compromise comes through discussion, not dictation.

If you are in a relationship with someone who does not respect your decisions, take a closer look at the relationship. Is the other person a bully? Does he or she always have to be in control? Why are you in this relationship? Are you afraid to make your own decisions? Are you fearful of being who you truly are? 

Today is the day you are going to begin to make your own decisions. Start small. Imagine you’re on a road trip with another when the two of you decide to stop and eat. The other asks you what you want, but you don’t want to look within and ask yourself that question, so you just say, “I don’t care. What do you want?” There are times it really doesn’t matter whether you go for a salad or a hamburger, and certainly there are times you need to compromise and go where the other wants. But if you are always letting the other make the decisions, you are staying in the middle management of your life instead of moving into the high executive position.

When you hear yourself saying—or even thinking—I don’t care. Stop! Take the time to look within and ask yourself what you do want. What does sound good to you? What do you really want in this moment?

When you can answer this question again and again, you will be ready to ask the big question: What is it I want for my life? Are you living your dream or the dream of the other? If you are living someone else’s dream, you will come to resent each other. You will resent the other for always making your decisions and the other will resent you for being forced to make your decisions. 

Figuring out what you want—whether in the moment or for your life—takes time, energy, and courage. You need to constantly monitor yourself to learn what you do want. The more you learn about yourself, the more confidence and knowledge you will have to make your own decisions.

Yes there will be times you need to compromise. Just as there will be times you need to stand your ground. As you learn what your dream is, you may find it is different from the other’s and you need to stop and communicate your dream. You may find the other has been thinking he or she was living your dream, and maybe, just maybe the two of you together can create an even more magnificent dream. Or not. You may find you have totally different dreams for your lives, and that’s okay, because the tradeoff is that you will find something else that is magnificent.

What you will find is a beautiful, unique human being who has so much to give to the world. You will find this person because you have stopped asking the other what is right for your life and started standing in your own power. 

Ask yourself what is right for your life. In listening to the answer, you will meet yourself. And in meeting the truth of who you are, you will find happiness.

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Finding that which Is Lost

Our material treasures are in our lives to help make our lives easier. When we misplace or lose something we treasure, it brings us frustration, which causes unhappiness. We become angry with ourselves for not being more careful, which adds stress to our lives.

Although we know it is not the object that brings us happiness, its loss still causes us unhappiness. Perhaps the object is a key fob that holds a special memory, or perhaps it is a key that opens the door to our home or starts our vehicle. Even when we take precautions to put our treasures in the same place so we do not mislay them, items can disappear. When they do, perhaps the following process can help. 

Take a few deep breaths and relax. If you can, it is best if you sit quietly for a few moments. This is difficult to do if you have lost your car keys and are in a hurry to leave, so do your best. If you cannot calm down, use a spare pair of keys (You do have a spare set don’t you?), and then when not rushed, take the time to sit quietly and relax.

Imagine that divine cone of golden light coming from above and moving into the top of your head and all through your body. See a cord of this light coming off the base of your spine and moving deep into Mother Earth. Now imagine this light moving out from your body from the solar plexus and becoming a beacon, like a lighthouse, and circling your world. Allow the beacon to become a bubble in front of you.

As the light beacon becomes a bubble, become aware of the lost treasure in that bubble. If you do not have a sense the treasure is yet in the bubble, repeat the beacon of light and continue to move around your world in a circle until you feel the treasure is within the light. Once you feel the treasure, bring the beacon of light into the bubble.

Experience the treasure in every way you can imagine, using all of your five senses to do so. Feel the gratitude for its return. Now bring the bubble back into you, all the while feeling the gratitude for the treasure’s return.

Now get up and go about your business, telling yourself you know exactly where to look for the treasure, and giving thanks for its return. Chances are the third place you look you will find the treasure.

Before the day is over, journal as to why you lost this object. Ask yourself what the object means to you. Car keys may mean freedom. Is your freedom in jeopardy? Wedding rings may mean a need to re-examine your marriage or make changes that better serve the union. Look at the symbolism behind the item.

What if the treasure stays lost even after you have repeated this process several times? There are times a treasure may stay lost for many years and then reappear, or a treasure may stay lost for a lifetime.

I once had a dog on the run for eight months and three days before finding her. I’ve also found objects several years later. While at a girlfriend’s house, I lost one of my favorite earrings. It had been beaded by a Shawnee woman, and it was irreplaceable. About five years later, after moving to a new location, I was in the grocery store when the man I was with saw an earring hanging off the bottom of the cart. You guessed it! It was the earring I had lost years before.

Don’t ask me how this happened. The only guess I have is that the earrings had fallen into the lining of my coat and finally worked its way out years later and miles away. Perhaps it returned to me at a time I needed to believe in magical miracles.

It is possible that after doing this process a treasure will not return. When this happens, thank the treasure for the service it provided to your life, and then release it knowing that it is where it needs to be.

You can also use this process to find the happiness you lost. Simply substitute the treasured item for something that represents happiness, such as a color or sound. Do not use this process to bring a person back to you. That will backfire. You can, however, use the process to help find a lost pet. I’ve used this process to help locate both my own dog who went for an unauthorized run and the beloved pets of others. It’s a powerful process!

You can repeat this process whenever you want to find that which is lost.

Remember you should not use this process on another human being.

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Be Happy, Stop Worrying

Worry erodes happiness. Many of our worries are baseless, only serving the purpose of stealing from you energy and time that could be spent enjoying your life. 

My mother was a worrier, and she passed that trait along to me. Fortunately, I rebelled a bit and never became the worrier she was. Plus, the older I grow, the more I realize worrying adds nothing to our lives—and even harms us.

Worrying about something does not keep it from happening. In fact, it may even cause it to happen. We draw to us that which we put our energy into. If we put our energy (our thoughts and emotion) into worrying about not having enough money, for example, we most likely will continue to experience lack. But if we put our energy into gratitude for what we do have and give a rousing thanks for the money to buy this or that, we have a much better chance of drawing prosperity to us.   

Yes, you say, I understand this, but I’m not worried about money. I’m worried about my kids. Are they going to catch the flu at school? Are they going to get into a car wreck when they are out with friends? Are they going to be happy? Okay, Mom and Dad, now tell me just what good your worrying is doing. Seriously. Is it keeping the kids healthy and safe? Is your worrying going to make them more successful or better citizens? Is it going to make them happier? No, no, and no.    

Worrying does not add to your life. Period. You cannot stop the storm from coming, and all that worrying will do is eat up your stomach and use energy you need to be properly prepared for when—or if— the storm hits.

To slow down and even stop worrying, create a worry jar. Here’s how—

On a piece of paper, write down the problem you are worried about. Fold the paper in half and fold it in half again. Put the paper into a jar. Use a jar with a screw top or a cork top. As you put the paper into the jar and screw or push down the lid, say a prayer to your Divine Source, giving the problem over to Source for three days.

During these three days, every time you think about the problem, say a prayer of thanks that the higher power of your Divine Source is taking care of the problem for you. Also, during these three days, listen to the small inner whispers that guide you to any answers you seek to what you were worried about.

At the end of the three days, open the jar and read what you wrote. You may find the problem has disappeared. If not, you have three choices. 1.) You can return the problem to the worry jar and forget about it; 2.) You can decide that you are more powerful than Divine Source and take back the problem; 3.) Or you can rewrite the phrasing of the problem and return it to your worry jar with a renewed prayer.

The idea behind the worry jar is that you are not alone in this world. We all have help that comes through from people in our lives, people we meet, from angels, God, Spirit Guides, Divine Wisdom— ways that seem magical in how everything just seems to happen once we get out of our own way. All of these are help from your deeper spirit self that is part of the All, the Divine Source.

All you need to do is to ask for help, and then let go of the problem and listen for guidance.  It’s simply getting out of our own way.

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