Words have a powerful effect on us, especially those words we either use against ourselves or to show love and acceptance of ourselves. To be loving to, and accepting of, ourselves begins with the words we say to ourselves. Do we use kind words or harsh ones? Do we tell ourselves how well we’re doing or are we always berating ourselves for not being enough?
To use words in service to yourself –
- Listen for any words you use to beat up on yourself and change them to positive words.
- Every day make a point to give yourself positive reinforcement. Tell yourself how pretty/handsome you are, how perfect your body is, how bright you are, how helpful you are to others, how successful you are, what a positive influence you have on the world, etc.
- Let the last words you say to yourself before falling asleep and the first words you say when awakening be, “I love me, and it is/was a beautiful day!”
- When angry or disappointed with yourself, stop and breathe, and then ask yourself, “Are these the words I want to say to me?”
- When you hear another’s hurtful words, remind yourself that the other is speaking from his/her world view. Refuse to allow the other’s words to hurt your heart. Keep strong boundaries, but do not respond in kind or defensively. Instead, respond firmly and kindheartedly. For example, you might say, “Although I respect your opinion, I feel hurt by the choice of words.” Make a point to speak to all others with kindness, even when disagreeing.
- Make sure you don’t take in any harmful words others may say to you. Just rewrite their words in way that reinforces how great you are.
Compassion for others begins with compassion for ourselves. Watch what you’re saying to yourself and let the self-love flow.