Happiness comes from a place of gratitude; unhappiness comes from a place of want. Does this mean wanting or asking for what you want brings you unhappiness? No. Certainly you must know what you want and ask for it, whether it be something tangible such as a new car or intangible such as happiness. Asking for that which you want does not mean you are not grateful; it means you have done the work to learn what you want and are clear about it.
What is necessary, however, is to be grateful for what is already in your life AND to be grateful in the present moment for that which you have asked for even though it may not have yet manifested in your life. Give thanks for it as though it were already here.
Gratitude, the deep state of thanksgiving, will repattern and rewire your brain for the greater reception of happiness.
Should you be thankful for everything that comes into your life? Absolutely not and absolutely yes! If someone is nasty to you, do you need to be grateful for that person’s nastiness or even for that person being in your life? Certainly not! But . . . happy people turn the other person’s nastiness into a happiness advantage while unhappy people dwell on what that other person said or did.
How do you turn the other person’s nastiness toward you into your happiness advantage and find gratitude for them being in your life? You do not take their nastiness personally. Simply remind yourself that person’s nastiness has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you, except for you to learn and grow by asking yourself why this has come into your life. Did it come to help you with your boundaries? Did it come to show you how you can be kinder? Did it come to show you this person no longer belongs in your life? Did it come to show you that you are choosing to be treated with respect and dignity, something this person does not seem to know anything about, so they must leave your life? Whatever the reason, the person is in your life because you asked them to be there.
You do not need to stay in gratitude for the person being in your life but be grateful their actions brought you to a place that allowed you to see and understand why they are there and how the other has helped you grow. Once you grow past a person or situation, they will disappear from your life to allow you to shine.
This is true for everything in your life. Once you grow past that which is holding you from your greater self, it will leave your life. This is true for objects, the place where you live, jobs, even emotions and thoughts. But this only happens if you are able to practice gratitude, which helps you understand the purpose of the situation/person/etc. being in your life.
Starting tonight, write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. Continue this process, adding to your list until you are consistently writing three things every evening for which you are grateful. This does not have to be anything big. You might be grateful for soft toilet paper, or for having toilet paper when you needed it today. Or you might be grateful for being able to use toilet paper at all. That last sentence took on deeper meaning to me when I had eight broken bones, including a broken left clavicle and left shoulder blade and a broken right hand.
As you become used to looking for things for which to be grateful to write in your evening journal, spread out and deepen your gratitude. Begin to say thank you to the sun for rising, the rain for falling, the happiness buddy who called to check on you, the clerk at the store.
Before you know it, you’ll be grateful for that person who treated you unkindly because it allows you to catch yourself when you get impatient and start to be unkind. You’ll start to see sunshine behind every dark cloud and find the silver lining in the misfortunes. You’ll start to understand your life; you’ll start to understand life. And all you have to do is to start being grateful.
Right now, in this moment be grateful. Be grateful for this moment, be grateful you can breathe, that you are alive, that you are you. Just for this moment. Be grateful. And in this moment, let your heart be happy.