Happiness does not just happen. You must cultivate it, appreciate it, and nurture it. It is too easy to think we are at the whims of our emotions. We are not. We are the one who experiences our emotions, and we are the one—and the only one—who is responsible for our emotions.
Just as you build on the emotion of unhappiness to reach a state of depression or anger or other non-life-affirming emotions, you also must build on the emotion of happiness to reach a state of happiness. You create happiness step-by-step, breath-by-breath, moment-by-moment, which is the same way you created unhappiness. The difference is that you are now creating with awareness. You now know the emotions you experience live through you, they do not happen to you because of the actions of other people.
Imagine that you have within you a playlist and each emotion is a song. You have the power to choose any song you want, but remember before you can choose a new song, you have to stop the old one.
To help you become aware of what songs you are listening to in your internal playlist and change the song to something much more pleasing, create an awareness journal.
At the end of each day, write down the negative, non-life-affirming emotions you experienced that day that stand out. Then write the new story of how you will do your best to handle the situation/person in the future.
For example, remember that anger you felt at a loved one because the other did not do what you wanted. Write it down, and then write the new story of how you will do your best to handle the situation in the future. Remember that disappointment you felt from a co-worker, because the other did not live up to your expectations. Write it down, and then write the new story of how you will do your best to handle the situation in the future. Remember the fear you felt when the person in the grocery store looked at you wrong. Write it down, and then write the new story of how you will do your best to handle the situation in the future.
As you write down the situations that caused negative emotions to stir and erupt within you— and then you write your new story—you are actually rewiring and reprogramming your brain to react differently in the future.
Writing down the old reactions, and then writing the new story is a powerful process that will help rid you of the toxins you have built up in your thinking and create new emotions of happiness. This is not an easy process. It takes courage and determination.
How fully you participate in this process depends on your desire to be happy. If the addiction to unhappiness and drama are greater than the desire to be happy, you will not have the courage to put your heart into this process and you will find excuses to avoid the work of creating happiness for yourself.
The writer Anais Nin said, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Be courageous. You are worth it.