Think of unhappiness as a groove worn into your brain from a constant flow of unhappy thoughts like a creek worn from water erosion. As humans, we tend to return to the familiar, even if the familiar is painful. By now, you may have a Grand Canyon of unhappiness patterns that you fall back into without even realizing it. The good news is that once you stop digging the unhappiness groove deeper and create a new pattern of happiness then happiness becomes the familiar groove and is easier to access and fall into.
To create happiness grooves, first become aware of the grooves you are creating—happiness or unhappiness. Happiness begins with our desire to be happy, and like most things in life, happiness comes to us as we seek it out. We most likely must do a bit of work to find it though.
Try this: On a sheet of notebook paper, write down a reason you have to be happy. If you can’t find a reason to be happy, start with a reason to be grateful. It can be as simple as being happy—or grateful—that you can read this publication or that you have a bed to sleep in, or that someone smiled at you today, or that you had toilet paper, or that…you get the idea. Once you have completed the first reason you have to be happy, continue to a second reason, a third, fourth and so on.
When a reason for unhappiness comes to mind—and it will—turn the paper over and write down that reason for unhappiness, and then immediately turn the paper over again and continue writing down reasons why you are—or should be—happy.
At first you may not feel particularly gleeful about your reasons for happiness. But as you continue to write, you’ll notice a lifting of your mood. Keep writing until you actually feel light, happy, and maybe even become positively giddy.
Remember these reasons for happiness when you fall into the groove of unhappiness. Or,
- Write your reasons for being happy on small, individual pieces of paper,
- Fold once
- Put them into a jar (You can add more happiness ideas anytime)
- When needed pull out one of the pieces of paper
- Read it and smile
If needed, pull out a second piece of paper or more until you do smile even if you’re smiling at yourself for needing to pull out so many pieces of paper.